Lawson writes . . . sharing thoughts and memories

January 17, 2010

I Shot the Horse!

Filed under: Uncategorized — lawsonjolly @ 5:00 am
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You have discovered by now that I am a transparent person.  I will confess to some things that probably shouldn’t be revealed.  However, some things get so well known that we cannot hide them.  Such is my story today.

Last hunting season, two deacons from the church where I am presently serving as interim invited me to go hunting with them.  I enjoy the hunt, but I do have reservations about the kill.  I was going more for the enjoyment of being with these two men and enjoying the outdoors.

One of the deacons had a friend about 80 miles from our home who would allow us to hunt on his property.  Since it was only to be a day hunt and not overnight, I knew it would be a long day.  On our trip both of the other men expressed the same feeling I had.  We were about half way to our destination and traveling down this off-the-beat path when suddenly three deer ran across the road in front of us.  We all expressed our excitement.  Before we could say something about those sightings, another large buck crossed the road and my friend had to swerve to miss him.

We began talking fast.  This place is loaded with deer, we were exclaiming.  To see them this active on the road at this hour says this surely is the best place ever to hunt.  All of us were thinking why should we go further.  I exclaimed, “Let’s hunt here.”  Of course the response was that it is private property and we cannot do that.  I knew that, but I said, “Let’s find out if we can hunt here.  It wouldn’t hurt to ask. Surely there must be a house nearby.”

I had hardly finished my remark when we spotted a house just off the road.  “Stop!  Stop!” I shouted.  My friend brought the car to a sudden stop.  “Let’s go up and see if this is their property.”  The  two deacons consented and the one driving backed up enough to pull in the driveway.  There was an elderly man sitting on the porch.

“Let me go talk to him,” I said.  That was certainly agreeable with them.  I walked up to the man on the porch and made light conversation.  I asked him if this was all his property, and he responded that the land had been in his family for generations.  I told him about the deer we spotted.  He responded by saying the deer are a menace to his crops.  I told him that we were headed further north to hunt for the day, but it would be nice if we could hunt around here.   I asked him if he would permit us to hunt on his land.

He hesitated for a moment, and then asked if we were  trustworthy and would not violate any hunting laws or destroy anything.  I assured him we would abide by anything he asked.  He asked about the other fellows in the car.  I then told him I was a minister and they were two of my deacons.  That brought about more conversation and he shared his faith with me.  He then responded, “Preacher, you just make yourself at home and hunt all you wish.”  He then told me the boundaries and the best place to hunt.

As I thanked him and promised to return later in the day to tell him we were leaving, he said, “Preacher, would you do me a favor?”  Of course, I assured him I would, if I could.  He pointed to a horse out in the pasture.  “You see that horse.  I have had him many, many years.  He is very sick and needs to be put down.  I just can’t do it. I don’t have the heart.  I really love that old fellow.  Would you shoot him for me?  I will bury him later.”

I was very hesitant, but I knew it was important to him.  I was not emotionally attached to the horse as he was, but I still did not want to do it.   I consented, but inwardly, felt an emotion that I had trouble dealing with. But I knew I had to do it for this kind man.

As I walked back to the car toward the two deacons, I thought I would have some fun. I began to shake my head as if disgusted.  They both asked immediately what the man said.  I responded, “He said no way; and  he was very rude and had a mean spirit.”  As I was telling this, I was at the same time getting my rifle out of the car.  I checked to make sure it was loaded.  They both asked  what I was about to do.  I responded, “I’ll get even with him and I lifted the rifle, took aim, and shot the horse.  The horse fell over on the spot.

Both of these deacons reacted hysterically.  “Preacher, what have you done?”  They were beside themselves.  They couldn’t believe I had shot the man’s horse.  One of the deacons pulled me aside and began talking to me as if to calm me down and decide what we should do.

About that time, we heard two rifle shots.  We looked around and the other deacon had gotten his rifle and and fired twice into the pasture.  As we looked at him as if to ask what he was doing, he shouted, “I just shot two of his cows for good measure!”

My first humor book was titled “Did That Really Happen?” because I often told stories like this one, and folks would later ask if that really happened.  My coming humor book is titled “Did That Really Happen, Too?”  And so whatever you think of the above, it is a way of introducing my second humor book! 

I just thought amid all my blogs, you needed something to laugh about.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine.”  (Proverbs 17:22)

Lawson

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1 Comment »

  1. Very cute! Did you shoot the horse?

    Comment by Dudley Henry — January 17, 2010 @ 6:31 am | Reply


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