Lawson writes . . . sharing thoughts and memories

February 3, 2010

Soldier of Fortune

Filed under: Uncategorized — lawsonjolly @ 5:00 am

I always dreamed of being a soldier of fortune.  Understand, there are two uses of that term.  One means a mercenary.  That might have been part of my dream, but my thoughts were on the other use of the term.  An adventurer is also called a soldier of fortune.  Oh, that’s what I dreamed!

I never made specific plans.  I did understand that it would take money.  Would I earn lots of money, retire early, and be a world adventurer?   How much money would I need?  How old would I be before I could begin?  These were not serious questions, but they would pop up in my dreams of the future.  It was only after high school and dropping out of college that I thought more about it.  I did seek to start making money as fast as I could, and not always in a way that would reflect Christian values.

Somehow I got back on a reality track.  After a couple of years I found myself at Baylor University.  My route was still to make money, and I focused on business ventures.  However, through the influence of several young men, my mind and heart began to be open to what God might want me to do.  As I began to consider that, I set my parameters.  I would be a Christian business man or a Christian politician.  After a few months of that concentration, an inward struggle began.

I felt God was asking me to surrender my life to Him for ministry.  No, no, no!  That would not work in the plans I had for my life.  I would tell God that I would be committed to him as a lay person and witness for him wherever I went in the world.  I was even specific about what I wanted to do.  I would repeat to God that I wanted to go through those deep jungles, climb those high mountain, be welcomed in the high places of the world, and on and on, I would go.

God wouldn’t turn loose.  It was soon clear that God was going to win.  My inward feeling was God  insisted that I trust Him.  That He had the best for me.  There finally came that day I surrendered.  “Alright, God, I give up.  You win.  I turn loose all those dreams of being that adventurer, that soldier of fortune.”

It is such a joy to acknowledge that with all the wonderful life God has given me, I got the bonus of getting all those early dreams fulfilled.  God gave me everything.  I have gone down those rivers in dugout canoes, climbed those volcanos, walked through dense jungles, been a guest in villages where they had never seen a white man, sat in the high places in the Orient, and been a guest in the White House and Oval Office.

God has given this old Stone Mountain boy more adventure than he could ever I gotten on his own.  Yes, God can be trusted.  Give Him all that you have and you will get all you wanted!  Oh, it may not be the geography, travel, or wealth, but you will discover that you never came up short!  God is so good, loving, and kind.  Trust Him for what He has for your life!

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)   “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  (Proverbs 19:21)




  1. Doesn’t always work out that way. I thought I was following God’s direction, my dreams were finally starting to come true and then I was diagnosed with MS and my life came to a crashing halt, my dreams falling from the sky. Yet, God has been sufficient in this also. I just don’t have my dreams anymore.

    Comment by Angela — February 3, 2010 @ 12:46 pm | Reply

  2. Don’t stop dreaming. God is ready to put a dream in your heart. His dream will be his will. Detours and changes in life do not mean that you have missed the best God has for you. I have discovered that sometimes God’s best gifts are wrapped in disappointment. Thank you for your testimony that God has been sufficient.

    Several of my blogs may be helpful if you have not read them. Check out Dec. 21, 2009 on how Mary’s dreams got shattered; Jan. 3, 2010 on trusting God in difficulties, etc.; Jan. 25, 2010 on a perspective toward what seems to be bad things that happen to us.

    I will pray for you. The marvelous thing about intercessory prayer is that we do not even have to know the person. Count me as a prayer warrior with you.

    Comment by lawsonjolly — February 3, 2010 @ 1:24 pm | Reply

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